Spectre

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

All aspirants on the Path will sooner or later be confronted by the being that some called ‘the shadow’, others the double, Doppelgänger. Also its described by Steiner in his “Knowledge of the higher worlds’. Its also a theme in the classic ‘Zanoni’. The fact is that it is not a matter ‘if’ but a matter ‘when’. By most people when they are not initiated this being reveals itself when they die. AT the moment of death this being manifest itself as well. But then its too late to do something about it unless one knows what to do. Therefore people want to clear the conscience in the phase just before death. Which is obvious. Come in terms on what one has done in life comes back, the double feeds itself on negative behavior. More negativity the bigger and stronger this being is.

This being also described in the book ‘The Zelator’ by Mark Hedsel. Its a very important part of the Work that should be overcome. And when its isn’t one never can make real progress and in some bad situations one gets more and more dragged into negative behavior.

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What exactly is this being? Its a part of oneself that is fed by negative thoughts and deeds and isn’t interested in spiritual progress at all. Its cunning but cold hearted. It actually don’t care about others. Real progress on the Path, not matter what traction one follows the result is that one is more and more open to others, better capable of seeing the bigger picture, being more kind, more flexible and willing to help others. All positive characteristics that fits a human being that is evolved. This ‘shadow’ being is actually the opposite.  Methods of overcoming this are diverse and there is not ‘one’ remedy. Because this being is part of oneself in the negative sense. During the process of initiation it becomes more and more clear what this being is, and what one can do to transform it. Its therefore important to be in a position to have a proper guide ( in ones system) to guide the aspirant through this process. My self encounter this being about 10 years ago when I was in the process of ‘inner alchemy’. Its was a real shock to meet this ‘being’ it encompass the horror related to ones personal idea what a horrific being is. Its can come in many forms and all those forms are projections form the mind when its about the form. the nature of this being is another story. I was fortunate enough to have the help that was required and thus was able to solve this issue. I have to say that my life never is the same after that.

One should take in consideration that this being is very, very cunning and is very manipulative nine times out of ten one has no idea the ‘double’ or ‘spectre’ as William Blake called it is pulling the strings. An ordinary person has no idea and therefore people are easily victim of negative behavior when manipulated also from outside. It feeds from negative actions and thoughts. This is one of the reasons sometimes people do things no one ever expected they will do. This is common knowledge in the esoteric psychology. But its not in the mundane world. To sum up some signposts when this being is pulling strings:

  • negative behavior (destructive thoughts and behavior).
  • depressing thoughts
  • low self esteem, or opposite in extreme.
  • violent.
  • egoistic.
  • narcistic.
  • negative thinking.
  • cruel to others including animals or oneself.
  • lying.
  • manipulative.
  • not really interested in others. Only personal gain.

This is why that our diary is so important since its can reveal parts of this signs in behavior. One of the biggest problems is when one hunt this being. This so the worse thing one can do. So be warned, don’t hunt it, don’t seek it! When done it will get you and will harm you very much, this being is much more cunning then you. It will reveal itself when the time is there, this revelation can be shocking. Its a subject that isn’t talked about very much in the outside world and easily overlooked. Dealing with it in the wrong way can be very dangerous. Same as provoking it from others. It can make people very violent. I have seen cases, also at my work when this being is provoked and the person had no idea what happened. It really take you over. How many people don’t say: ‘Oh! did I do this? or ‘I wasn’t myself’. A big change this being was in charge at that moment. Its also said that at more spiritual evolved persons it takes much longer before it manifest. By those who aren’t much evolved it comes very quickly. They give up very soon, get angry or have all kind of ego issues with others all the time. They want to change everything, want to impress etc etc.

This is why we do our daily practices, meditations, rituals, prayers, training the mind. Since when we become more and more aware what is going on inside we get more grip on ourselves and our inner life. This results in a better grip and control in the outer world. Only with overcoming this we can climb hight upon the mountain of initiation.

 

Love is the law, love under will.

 

Frater Parusha

 

 

The Great Work and priorities.

We all know that our ego is full of excuses. When certain work needs to be done what is good for us the ego protests. Over the years I saw many variations from students but also in my personal development I encountered them too. Beside the ego there are some other factors that prevent us from doing the Work. That are expectations from peers, family, job etc. This who have a busy social life have very hard times to create time for doing the Work.

Another factor is ‘Karma’  (internal = thinking patterns  and external = conditions/ situations that come back again and again ) and tests that come from the higher order the so called third order. All those factors make it extremely hard to do the work. In earlier stages its for many almost impossible to do something. Even simple tasks and questions are hard to deal with. Especially when one has applied to a genuine magical order. We all know, especially those who have experience with it but continued their Work that mainly our inner condone is responsible for this obstacles. Our inner world has its own ways of doing things and as many occultists know is that we are microcosmic. What happens inside will manifest outside as well. As the Buddha said  in the Dhammapadha “We are what we think”.  This implies are then just a thought, it implies thought patterns, habits, education, presumptions etc. Its actually a very deep statement. In magick we all know that words have power and when we repeat them they tend to manifest in the outer world. Thoughts are energies, a word is a manifestation of a thought and has its qualities and thus has its energies related to it. In the Kabbalah the human psyche is classified under different parts.

We ave the Nephesh (our instincts, hapbits, desires), we have our Ruach, our thinking faculty. The rational mind, we have the Neshamah our intuition, Chiah our higher Will and the Yechidha or Higher Self. This last three are full accessed by the initiate by overcoming the lower binary. So the higher faculties of our mind are then in control. By the uninitiated isn’t that he case, they are under control of the lower binary. So then we have a limited view on our live, and a limited control over our life. Especially the Nephesh and the Ruach are creating the issues and problems we encounter when we talk about priorities. Since they also functioning separately they can have very different motivations for why we do certain things or not. Like our thinking mind says “smoking is bad for your health, don’t do it. The nephesh says …”one cigarette is not a problem’. I need the cigarette because I have stress etc etc. That also explains why people saying the one thing and doing the other.

How can we overcome all this? The answer is simple but its hard to do. One need to cut activities that aren’t productive for the Great Work (as far as when can recognize them). And starts all practices on daily basis and never skip them, be determent. Like a simple mediation practice or a daily ritual. Then during the process one adds more and more. Also one cuts out things that only cost time but are not productive at all. Endlessly socializing, talking yapping only prevent us from doing what really matters. How did I learn this? Actually Learned this when I quit smoking. I understand my deep reason why I smoked and instead of smoking I meditated. Or did something else related to the GW. Also watching a lot to TV should be skipped. Just watch something you like and switch the television off. Read books about the paths of attainment, books that elevate consciousness. Of one d this relentlessly one gets the discipline in thoughts and actions. Also one sees patterns by keeping te magical diary. Because that is one of the main practices as well. Slowly, and that can take years, one attains the level of “Do Easy” like William Burroughs called it. With the right focus (mindfulness) doing certain tasks and don’t get distracted doing something useless.

“Do Easy” was a magical technique put forth by William Burroughs that consists of doing whatever you do in the most relaxed and efficient way possible — or, as Jason Louv of UltraCulture puts it, “re-training your brain to do everything in the fewest number of steps.”

 

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This whole process is all together very complicated but should be taken in very small steps. Also the magical training, taming the mind, get access to the higher aspects of our mind together with the Knowledge and Conversation of our Holy Guardian Angel, brings us to the level from Neophyte to Adept. This process will be continued in the other Adepts grades and finally to the final step of crossing the Abyss. The Outer order grades of the A.’.A.’. trains the student to the level one finally controls ones mind and attain the KCHGA. In the meanwhile the struggle from the aspirant is dealing with daily life issues, distractions, etc etc. If one is serious about the work, and when one really wants to attain this steps should be taken. Sweep away alle unnecessary activities, unproductive habits into productive ones dig deep into one own psyche to magically get control over our inners sphere, inner World. Get rid of this unneeded thoughts like feeling guilty, pleasing people all very old christian imprints to get the mob moving and under control.  The process includes moments of dispair, spiritual dryness and the so called dark night of the soul. This all should be experienced and overcome in order to get glimpses of illumination.

 

 

Tarot connections

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Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

Intro

Since this week I’m experimenting with cut cards so to speak. I cut off the borders of my Thoth Tarot deck. Someone wrote an article on in in a Facebook group and also I’ve got an article about this. Its inspired me a lot and in this article I wrote my first findings of the relation of those cards that seem geometrically to fit very well. Obviously it needs much more meditation but its interesting to contemplate on it.

 

My first impression.

On the bottom Atu II, Priestess, in the middle Atu XII The hanged man and on top. Ace of cups. First of all, it all connected to water. The priestess to the Moon, Hanged man to element water and the Ace of cups Root of the powers of water highest aspect of beauty. The Holy Grail so to speak. Related to the paths. It’s the 13th path Atu II, the 23rd path Atu XII. The ace is related to Kether like the path of the Priestess leads to Kether. In between there is the hanged man, the Adept that cross the abyss on the middle pillar. The 23rd path is from Hod to Geburah and the 13th path from Tiphareth to Kether. When added up one gets number 36 (23 + 13 = 36) 6+3 = 9 and is related to Yesod the sephirah below Tiphareth also on the middle pillar. This constellation is the crossing (realization) from the perspective of beauty or Tiphareth. And its foundation in sephiroth 9 which mean foundation. Yesod is also the lower aspect of Binah (3) a reflection. In this sphre the Great Mother , Binah is reflected in a very mundane way. The Adept opens the veil and get rid of his ego that is why the figure is actually faceless. Its known in all schools of realization that the ego is the one that causes the biggest trouble. One should be control the ego and not otherwise. Everything on that level will be amplified and that is why the groundwork is so important. Once realized one get the “Holy Grail” or ace of cups. It seems that the middle pillar is the purification and realization within the context of water. From its most gross till the most subtle indications.

 

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The connection The Moon with the Empress. Some first correspondences that just pops into my mind;

The picture seem to fit in a way as you see on the picture.

The 29th path from Malkuth to Netzach. Netzach = 7th sephriah. (The lower aspect of “Love’, transformed into the higher aspect of Love the union of Binah and Chockmah is the Empress III) and 14th path on the Tree. Adding up 43 makes 4+3 = 7. Atu VII is the Chariot. That is the 18th path(crossing the Abyss). Cheth full  numerical value equals 418 (Abrahadabra). The Moon is the Ordeal the two towers with the Holy Scarab in the middle with the Sun. The Ordeal leads to Daleth (means ‘door’ or ‘doorway’) the connection between Chockmah and Binah. The Empress is the higher aspect of Love. In the context of the New Aeon (418) The Sun in the scarab the moon on the empress card. Sun and the Moon united. The inner Sun or Star, ones Inner God, will be completely revealed after the ordeal of successfully passing/ crossing the Abyss. The Star or Sun is our True Will united by the means of ‘Love’. makes ‘Love under Will’.

Read also Liber Cheth with is the expression in words from this crossing. Number 7 is also related to Babalon, the seven pointed Star of our Noble Order.

Many, many other correspondences and formula’s will be possible to distill from this constellation. I encourage you to do so and draw your own lines after your own meditations.

 

Love is the law, love under will.

 

Frater Parusha©

 

 

 

 

 

 

A.’.A.’.’Outer college’ studie groep.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

In het kader van de voorbereiding op het examen voor de ‘student grade’ willen wij een ‘outer college’ vormen in Nederland. De reden hiervoor is dat veel mensen het examen niet halen omdat ze niet aan de eisen voldoen, de stof niet echt kunnen plaatsen en niet de skills hebben om de literatuur te bestuderen. Plus om die abstracties om te zetten in praktische middelen naar zelfverwerkelijking.

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De grooste misvatting is dat onze Order vooral intellectueel is, dat is zeker niet het geval, echter men moet wel zaken in harmonie brengen. Hoofd, handen en hart. Dit zie je terug in alle tradities. Een Druide kon pas verder als hij als bard een bepaald niveau had bereikt. Wij daarentegen willen ons pad vanuit het perspectief van ‘scientific illuminism’ kaderen om zo ook charlatans te weren, en eigen realisaties steeds te toetsen. Hoeveel ‘nep’ magiërs zijn er niet? Dit wordt bij ons weg gefilterd omdat men dan gewoon niet verder kan als er geen ‘bewijs’ is wat men claimt te hebben behaald. Aan de vruchten herkent gij de boom. Iemand die zegt al ver te zijn en zijn leven niet op orde heeft mist nog een belangrijk stuk in zijn/haar realisatie.

 

Daarom gaan we een ‘outer college’ vormen binnen ons Clerkhouse. De bedoeling is dat potentiele aspiranten uit Nederland en België de mogelijkheid hebben om in samenwerking met ons zich grondig voor te bereiden op de eerste stap als ‘Student’. De voorbereiding op het examen en wat daarvoor nodig is. We willen 2x per jaar bij elkaar komen om zo de aspiranten te woord te staan en eventueel hulp te bieden. Echter wat zeer belangrijk is dat in de “new Aeon, men zelf leert na te denken en niet uitgaat van autoriteit, en meningen van anderen maar eerder leert juist op de eigen inzicht te vertrouwen in de aangegeven kaders. Als basis willen we ook het boek van James Eshelman gaan gebruiken ‘The mystical and magical system of the A.’.A.’.. Een zeer handig boek om de structuur van de orde te leren kennen en om op verder te borduren. Als je belangstelling hebt stuur ons dan een mail. Dan hoor je verder wat de vereisten zijn om je te kunnen aanmelden. Wellicht ter overvloede. Aan de lessen zijn geen kosten verbonden. Als het op een andere lokatie is wat we moeten huren en faciliteren dan vragen wij wel een bijdrage om de onkosten samen te dragen.

Applicaties mailen naar: rahoorkhuit93418@gmail.com

 

 

Love is the law, love under will.

Frater Parusha

The magic Wand.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

This short epistel is about the magical wand. This instrument is one of the most known of the weapons of the magician. Also because of Hollywood productions and the popularity of Harry Potter one has a popular idea what a magical wand is. There is obviously a serious side on the story.

 

The wand is traditionally attributed to the element of fire. The traditional wand in the Golden dawn is the so called fire wand. There are many different wands for different purposes, a Lotus wand, Fire Wand, Solomonic magic wands, etc. Its the instrument to direct the Will of the magician. This Will is also connected to the Oath which is an affirmation of the magician in line with his True Will. Therefor the Oath and the wand are connected. Concerning the Will Crowley writes:

Lotus wand

My personal Lotus wand

“It is therefore necessary to develop the will to its highest point, even though the last task but one is the total surrender of this will. Partial surrender of an imperfect will is of no account in Magick.

The will being a lever, a fulcrum is necessary; this fulcrum is the main aspiration of the student to attain. All wills which are not dependent upon this principal will are so many leakages; they are like fat to the athlete.

The majority of the people in this world are ataxic; they cannot coordinate their mental muscles to make a purposed movement. They have no real will, only a set of wishes, many of which contradict others. The victim wobbles from one to the other (and it is no less wobbling because the movements may occasionally be very violent) and at the end of life the movements cancel each other out. Nothing has been achieved; except the one thing of which the victim is not conscious: the destruction of his own character, the confirming of indecision. Such an one is torn limb from limb by Choronzon.”

How then is the will to be trained? All these wishes, whims, caprices, inclinations, tendencies, appetites, must be detected, examined, judged by the standard of whether they help or hinder the main purpose, and treated accordingly.

And:

‘Vigilance and courage are obviously required. I was about to add self-denial, in deference to conventional speech; but how could I call that self-denial which is merely denial of those things which hamper the self? It is not suicide to kill the germs of malaria in one’s blood.

Now there are very great difficulties to be overcome in the training of the mind. Perhaps the greatest is forgetfulness, which is probably the worst form of what the Buddhists call ignorance. Special practices for training the memory may be of some use as a preliminary for persons whose memory is naturally poor. In any case the Magical Record prescribed for Probationers of the A.’.A.’. is useful and necessary.

Above all the practices of Liber III must be done again and again, for these practices develop not only vigilance but those inhibiting centres in the brain which are, according to some psychologists, the mainspring of the mechanism by which civilized man has raised himself above the savage.

So far it has been spoken, as it were, in the negative. Aaron’s rod has become a serpent, and swallowed the serpents of the other Magicians; it is now necessary to turn it once more into a rod”. (Page 62 – 63 Liber ABA).

All these parts including the magical Oath are connected to our “Will”. To train this ‘Will’ one starts with binding him/herself with an Oath. The name of the Magical Wand is the Magical Oath. A confirmation of our highest aspirations together with the chosen  motto, the Probationer should find. Once this Oath has been taken together with the energy of ‘going’ the Motto the Probationer starts his/her work. Then it seems that the whole universe is trying to avoid to do this Will, obstacles arise, our daily life seem to ruin our practices, we experience problems at school, at work or in our private life. All this come up and can be a part of matters that should be overcome. Then our daily practices, keeping the diary, doing our meditations, control our thoughts and emotions, practice Yoga are all part of this. The trick is to continue the work (to will) and not be distracted by all those obstacles and issues. Its easier said then done but this is the only way to do it. One cannot just conjure a spirit and ask to vanish all our problems. No one can, no god, angel or demon, we should work on our Karma, we should create ‘new’ Karma in order to accomplish the great Work. There is no substitute for this and that means that all the works should be come from inside. We should have our Will focussed and solve all the issues.

Therefore its very important to make up our mind before we get involved into a serious magical order like the A.’.A.’.. Too many people tend to think its all very romantic and willy wooly love and light. Yes, for the New age like groups it is. Its not within our Noble Order. A lot of commitment is asked and our actions are not with our results. We cannot see beforehand what the results are since we thread undiscovered territory of our mind and being. Therefore is the development of the Will important together with the directing instrument of our Wand. Care should be taken to formulate our Will, taking the Oath and execute our practices to deepen those insights and to map out our own inner life. In order to know our strengths and weaknesses. It all start with little things, little signs of awareness of executing will power on the long run. Not occasionally willed ambitions. No long term willed actions in order to be united with our True Will, (Knowledge and conversation of our Holy Guardian Angel) and act accordingly like  King. Like our Order is selecting the fit and eliminate  the unfit, likewise we should do with inner processes to become a perfect vessel for a God to indwell.

Love is the law, love under will.

 

Frater Parusha

 

 

 

Cult like behavior Rigpa

As an ex student from Sogyal Lakar our suspicions became real. We noticed it once when we were in Lodeve, a small town nearby Lerab ling. There we saw Sogyal with some students. But they were acting very, very secretive and that was something we didn’t understand. Now we do now.

I was just a couple of years student at Rigpa, back in 2004 – 2006. But it influenced me a lot. I learned the basics of meditation and how to do retreats. So in that way it helped me. Fortunately after that I went my own way but now this news come to the surface. Its a shame that this is going on, plus that it seems like I posted on my Facebook page that those Tibetan lamas seem to look down to our Western life and they exploit it in its fullest. It has nothing to do with the dharma or with tantra as such. Its a very cheap way of manipulating the ignorant western students. Most of them are highly educated and have money to spend.

 

Old prominent members  wrote a letter to Sogyal to stop his unethical behavior. Here you can read the letter in English and in Dutch and I have to say its shocking. I hope it will be in trail soon and I hope it will stop. Its harmful on many levels and also harmful for the true practitioners of Varjayana.

‘If one presents the teachings clearly, others benefit. But if someone is supposed to propagate the Dharma and their behavior is harmful, it is our responsibility to criticize this with a good motivation. This is constructive criticism, and you do not need to feel uncomfortable doing it. In “The Twenty Verses on the Bodhisattvas’ Vows,” it says that there is no fault in whatever action you engage in with pure motivation. Buddhist teachers who abuse sex, power, money, alcohol, or drugs, and who, when faced with legitimate complaints from their own students, do not correct their behavior, should be criticized openly and by name. This may embarrass them and cause them to regret and stop their abusive behavior. Exposing the negative allows space for the positive side to increase. When publicizing such misconduct, it should be made clear that such teachers have disregarded the Buddha’s advice. However, when making public the ethical misconduct of a Buddhist teacher, it is only fair to mention their good qualities as

well”.

-The Dalai Lama, Dharamsala, India March 1993-

Its my sincere hope HH the Dalai Lama will take action on this as he expressed in the text above.

 

Letter about abuse

Webshop on line

I’m happy to announce that our webshop ‘Ancient Artifacts Workshop‘ is on line now. Feel free to visit it and shop if you see something of your liking. Also I sell luxe printed books from the Hellfire book club.

Some of the items I sell.

 

 

 

 

Review of my work from a Brother on the Path.

“Let the Magical Link be made strong!” (Aleister Crowley)

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I want to share with you the inspiring craft of Frater Parusha. He works magical sigils and sacred symbols into corresponding metals, in accordance to principles of magick and alchemy. A couple of weeks ago, I received this beautifully crafted sigil of the A.’.A.’. (Sigillum Sanctum Fraternitatis A.’.A.’.). I opened it in my sanctum, and immediately, it was evident he had crafted it not only with care and excellence in a mundane sense, but also using his abilities as a trained magician and alchemist. Moreover, it was imbued with the force of a true aspirant and adept of our Order–a true sign of someone who doesn’t only read about magick, but practices it with zeal and verve.

In Magick in Theory and Practice (quoted above), Crowley dedicates a chapter to the subject of the “magical link.” He explains there that this magical link is one of the most neglected topics in magical literature, even though it is one of the most important factors of a magical operation. The magical link is what can connect the Will with the manifested intent of the operation. This is why this chapter is dedicated to the production of talismans, magical operations, and the work of the Philosophus. The Philosophus is one of the pivotal grades of the A.’.A.’., it decidedly determines who attains to the Lovers degree and who doesn’t, because it is the degree where the magical link is set and proven. Those unable to establish this link are doomed to remain arm-chair magicians at best, able to discuss theory but utterly unable to make their Will and magical force to manifest in this plane. In the end, the aspirant to the A.’.A.’. aims to unite the inner with the outer, and the high with the low. It is the magical link what makes this union possible, and the aspirant then becomes an Adept, having made of her body a talisman, consecrated and dedicated to the manifestation of the inner genius.

Frater Parusha’s work is a tangible example of the outer work of a magician and alchemist who is working beyond theory and delves into practice the right way.

“Let the Magical Link be made strong! It is ‘love under will’; it affirms the identity of the Equation of the work; it makes success Necessity.” (Crowley, MTP. Chapter XIV)

Koyote the Blind

Concerning the pentacles and items I make.

As most of you know I’m not only make this artwork, I consecrate them and I use them myself successfully as well. So the craft technique is required and the ability to consecrate them properly. Most of the pentacles available are nicely casted or mass produced. That are not the ones I make. The ones I make are special ones , a one of a kind unique pieces with a very special energy. (that is what I hear back from this who have them from me) They are very valuable tools that sometimes create very surprising situations. And that directly beats the idea that they are placebo’s. Naming Pentacles just placebo’s is an insult and definitely do no justice to the spirits and angels involved. They are truly Holy.

 

On our webshop site there will be an option to support my work in a patronage system. There will be 3 level in a way you can donate to support my work. Not only because I’ll do it but also its an old craft that magi from the past were doing. With my Work I will continue this Work so that it won’t be lost. Beside this its also a way to investigate the workings of those magical objects and one is able to experience that oneself. Many people these days read about it, which is good , but experiencing is a whole other story. The same is true about my Alchemical work. This “patronage’ will give you extra possibilities, like discount, gifts, information etc. So if you not want to buy items from me but you like my work you can be a Patron of ‘Ancient Artifacts Workshop’. more on this later when the webshop is on line.

 

 

 

 

Observation ‘Magical order temple of Starlight’.

It’s not something I take lightly nor something I like to do but in case of more trouble for others in the future I would like to put some of my personal observations online. So it must be clear that this is my personal opinion and experience. Since 2003 is a group active in the Netherlands called the Temple of Starlight. It’s head Ina Custers van Bergen I know from back in the 90’s. In this periode we, my wife and I, attempt to work together with Ina. This was not a success and we split up. We both took our own path. Many years later I came across her again on Facebook and we have contact. During that contact again I was hoping for working together. It was all promising. She asked me to do proofreading for het book ‘The Mystery of the Sea. The summer before the book came out I spend time proofreading this book. Then later on she invited me to join a temple training workshop in Rotterdam. I said I will do that. So I joined and I really enjoyed it. Its was nice to have something close and I met a nice group of people. So I decided to continue with the temple trainings.

At that time the only point I had was that the temple trainings were not cheap. Then because I’m a very curious person I decided to join her Solo magical training. This was a very expensive course (285 Euro’s now) for 5 lessons. But I really would like to dig deeper in the tradition she claims. She claims to be in the tradition of Dion Fortune and a legitimate lineage holder. Then I started the solo training. I discussed with her the possibilities of skipping some of the lessons because its all at the beginners level. Ina said that this is not possible. So I have had to start at the beginning. I know afterwards it was a mistake to do this  but I didn’t know that at the start.

I’m a practitioner for 24 years now but always keen on learning new things. So the first book I did partly I stepped in half way but the lessons were too boring for me. The only thing that was interesting were the Skype session every fortnight. We shared experiences and discuss the materials. This was the value for me. In the meanwhile I decided to continue with the temple trainings. My main goal was group work, and do the temple work nearby, not to be initiated. So far so good. Then there was a retreat at Autumn. I joined it together with my wife. It was just before I had a surgery. Then after the surgery things changed.

One of the things I found was remarkable is that the lessons in the solo training had no sources. It was without notes and without a bibliography. That was odd. I’m not used to that since I have a scientific approach concerning sources and written materials. Another point was that the English of the book was very badly written. Sometimes Dunglish, and strange sentences. That while there is a native English speaker in the group. The readability was sometimes bad too because pictures were to prominent so it wasn’t possible to read the text.

I asked Ina once why are the lessons so expensive? She replied “Because quality cost money”. I was puzzled. I wrote to her later that the quality of the written material is very bad and that I miss cross references. So its wasn’t very fair to ask that high prices. Because I was not active for a reasonable time in the Temple of Starlight because of the recovery of my surgery.  I had the time to evaluate the situation in the Temple of Starlight (ToS). I’m from a complete different tradition. I’m a Thelemite and I’m used to find things out for myself. Plus I’m used to think for myself and experiment and investigate the validity of my personal magical Work. During the retreat all this came on the surface. Also the whole accumulation of knowledge and experience. This was a good sign. However I had some critics about the contend of the lessons, the way we do rituals in the ToS etc. So I had a chat with Ina on Fb. In that chat I told her what my ideas were concerning the materials etc. She argued back and at a certain point she said she would like to drop the discussion. I told here that the solo training add nothing new to my knowledge or experience. She said later on it will be interesting for you. I thought, later? How many books later? Each book plus lessons is 285 Euro’s. Ina said she wanted to stop the conversation because fb chat isn’t the right place to do so. She was right but the main things were already said.

I slept over it and the next morning I decide to resign from the ToS. Then the day after as reply there was send an invoice. I have to pay 3x tempeltraining I didn’t attend because of my surgery. So I was shocked. I wrote back that I wasn’t willing to pay 3x 79 Euro’s for something I could not attend. The day after I had a letter by email from the Board! I even didn’t know there was a board. Plus a name under the letter I didn’t know. In that message he stated in the name of Ina that I should pay it because she was so nice to let it pay me in parts. It was a formal letter, not even written by herself but on her behalf. I was very angry about that. Especially that her reply on my resignation was an invoice! And that she hide behind rules to push me to pay. Is it all about money?

Why do I write this? Because its not an story in itself. There are many ex members that have a similar or even a more bizar experience with the Tos. So my story is even very mild. People who were member for many years who were put aside. I was just participant for 6 months. What makes it clear is that the ToS is really acting as a cult. There are Taboos. For example one isn’t allowed to discuss  the works of Crowley and when one has critics nothings has been done to it. Ina tend to acts like she needs feedback but she never change lessons as I’ve heard from ex members. Also Ina is very good at manipulating people and using NLP techniques to poison ones mind with her ideas. She never really is able to work with others. People have to work for her in the way she dictates! This explained to me why people suddenly were away. Or suddenly resigned. They saw how she operates and how she works. She is putting it in certain words so one is curious to continue. But the movie isn’t getting better. Does she train people to be Adepts and be independent thinkers? No not at all. During the trainings I was puzzled by the fact that none of the older members write rituals themselves for the ToS, were energetic passionate about what they are doing and why are there so few?   Its not allowed to have ones own ideas of doing things in the Temple. Its all planned and written out by Ina (not actually written but used from old Sol materials as some  other ex members told me. I don’t know since I never was involved into the SOL).

In my opinion its a harming way of dealing with members or ex members. What I also found out is that suddenly she had many mutual friends on Facebook. I asked others about it and they had the same experience. It seems she invite all the members from the friends list like my friend list in order to hope to benefit from it. Many friends on my fb friendslist are Thelemites or individuals who never like to be involved into the ToS. Its a very aggressive way of expanding the influence.  Also the fear she has what people say about her and the ToS. Have so called spies that report to her what has been said on the internet about the ToS.

I wrote this as a warning for those who have the intention to join. Not because I think the ToS is bad as such  but its not what it claims to be and it can cost you loads of money. The ToS has cult like tendenties  and the materials are very poor. its doesn’t have the quality its claims. Its not really contributing but something to the Hermetic tradition.

Another note, its very, very vague the claims Ina makes. Its not  clear what education she exactly have had and where. When one looks at the CV its all generally formulated and not specific. I wondering if she has any real higher education. I thinks its very dangerous to play with peoples mind and certainly when money is involved. So for all serious practitioners, be warned! Its not what it seems.

The website:

http://westernmysteryschool.nl

http://www.templeofstarlight.org