Words and phrases.


Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

We all know that words and phrases have power. Its known in commercials but also the student of the occult knows that words and phrases can be very powerful. For good and for bad. Nothing wrong with it of course. But, what we observe especially in the occult world but also in others parts of occultism people tend to copy phrases without exactly knowing what it means, nor have real experience with it. Then a word of phrase becomes a ‘phantasy’. My wife was reading in a book from Osho about Tantrism (Tantra het allerhoogste inzicht Nederlandse vertaling) and also Osho mentions this in that book. Ouspensky even created a ‘word’ about this phenomenon . He called it ” imaginazione’, (imagination).

If someone came to him and expressed about his inner experiences and started with ‘my kundalini has risen’ or  I’ve seen the light, my chakra’s are open’ he stopped immediately and said “Imaginazione”. What do you mean (the individual said)? He said  ‘the illness of the imagination’, you walked into a trap. Stop!

To express experiences in words  we use metaphors, because the unutterable is difficult to express in plain language. When we read poetry its just imagination, the imagination of the poet. Nothing wrong with it. When its about science we stick to facts and repeated experiment to test ones thesis. But in the inner world, our inner deep experiences, it very hard to express it in plain words. Then images come in, symbols, paintings, drawings etc. Images are the bridge between the phenomenal world to the spiritual world. That is why visualizations are so important. I noticed it also when I did the ‘Abramelin Working’ and now afterwards. Certain experiences are very hard to describe and experiences continues mixed in our daily life.

The point of this writing is that these days and I guess as long as tere are people there are groups of people who express themselves in  the words others used. For example; my heart chakra is blocked, or ‘my Holy guardian Angel’ said this and said that, or the Kundalini has risen. Or I’m under a psychic attack (when something goes wrong). This group of people ‘imagine’ that they have those experiences, its phantasy. Its repeating parts of phrases or words from others because the ‘think’ they have had the same experience. In other words they parroting what others who are in authority say or those who they think are in authority.

So when does one knows its a genuine experience? There are a few signposts that are based on my experience about the subject:

  • the experience came unexpected and has an unique implication. or came after a long and thorough Work but manifested in an authentic way (not fabricated).
  • the person who experienced it don’t talk (much) about it or only talk about it to those who he/she trust.
  • its not a phrase or word dropping to impress others, or to convince they do matter and are significant as well.
  • its very hard to express in words, it sometimes finds ways to express itself that can be very unexpected.
  • it takes many  years before one has the ‘knack’ to really ‘know’ its real or imagination. Especially beginners drop words and phrases from others all the time. (just look around on facebook groups or forums)
  • Daily hard practice for many years backup by loads of knowledge (books and inner realization) are the best ways to test the authenticity of an experience.
  • inducing a true state of trance (samadhi) since in this state information comes naturally from another plane and thus weed out phantasy as such. Of course every level of trance state induces other forms of energy and information. 

Like its takes many many years of study and practice to become a concert violist. That last one everyone seem to understand, but when it comes to occultism one think to know after reading a couple of books. We see this phenomenon on all levels in all types of religious, occult, new age groups.

So be on your guard when one hear oneself drop words and phrases that are not real experiences. Its a trap and leads to delusion and when it really goes wrong to madness. Its doesn’t solve ones real inner issues, which real realization do. Real realization extinct all those dysfunctional behavior patterns that bars us to become illuminated. That makes our Path so hard, so difficult but so rewarding as well!

Read in relation to this subject also the chapter ‘Trance’ from ‘Little essays toward truth’ from Aleister Crowely.

Love is the law, love under will.



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Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

All aspirants on the Path will sooner or later be confronted by the being that some called ‘the shadow’, others the double, Doppelgänger. Also its described by Steiner in his “Knowledge of the higher worlds’. Its also a theme in the classic ‘Zanoni’. The fact is that it is not a matter ‘if’ but a matter ‘when’. By most people when they are not initiated this being reveals itself when they die. AT the moment of death this being manifest itself as well. But then its too late to do something about it unless one knows what to do. Therefore people want to clear the conscience in the phase just before death. Which is obvious. Come in terms on what one has done in life comes back, the double feeds itself on negative behavior. More negativity the bigger and stronger this being is.

This being also described in the book ‘The Zelator’ by Mark Hedsel. Its a very important part of the Work that should be overcome. And when its isn’t one never can make real progress and in some bad situations one gets more and more dragged into negative behavior.


What exactly is this being? Its a part of oneself that is fed by negative thoughts and deeds and isn’t interested in spiritual progress at all. Its cunning but cold hearted. It actually don’t care about others. Real progress on the Path, not matter what traction one follows the result is that one is more and more open to others, better capable of seeing the bigger picture, being more kind, more flexible and willing to help others. All positive characteristics that fits a human being that is evolved. This ‘shadow’ being is actually the opposite.  Methods of overcoming this are diverse and there is not ‘one’ remedy. Because this being is part of oneself in the negative sense. During the process of initiation it becomes more and more clear what this being is, and what one can do to transform it. Its therefore important to be in a position to have a proper guide ( in ones system) to guide the aspirant through this process. My self encounter this being about 10 years ago when I was in the process of ‘inner alchemy’. Its was a real shock to meet this ‘being’ it encompass the horror related to ones personal idea what a horrific being is. Its can come in many forms and all those forms are projections form the mind when its about the form. the nature of this being is another story. I was fortunate enough to have the help that was required and thus was able to solve this issue. I have to say that my life never is the same after that.

One should take in consideration that this being is very, very cunning and is very manipulative nine times out of ten one has no idea the ‘double’ or ‘spectre’ as William Blake called it is pulling the strings. An ordinary person has no idea and therefore people are easily victim of negative behavior when manipulated also from outside. It feeds from negative actions and thoughts. This is one of the reasons sometimes people do things no one ever expected they will do. This is common knowledge in the esoteric psychology. But its not in the mundane world. To sum up some signposts when this being is pulling strings:

  • negative behavior (destructive thoughts and behavior).
  • depressing thoughts
  • low self esteem, or opposite in extreme.
  • violent.
  • egoistic.
  • narcistic.
  • negative thinking.
  • cruel to others including animals or oneself.
  • lying.
  • manipulative.
  • not really interested in others. Only personal gain.

This is why that our diary is so important since its can reveal parts of this signs in behavior. One of the biggest problems is when one hunt this being. This so the worse thing one can do. So be warned, don’t hunt it, don’t seek it! When done it will get you and will harm you very much, this being is much more cunning then you. It will reveal itself when the time is there, this revelation can be shocking. Its a subject that isn’t talked about very much in the outside world and easily overlooked. Dealing with it in the wrong way can be very dangerous. Same as provoking it from others. It can make people very violent. I have seen cases, also at my work when this being is provoked and the person had no idea what happened. It really take you over. How many people don’t say: ‘Oh! did I do this? or ‘I wasn’t myself’. A big change this being was in charge at that moment. Its also said that at more spiritual evolved persons it takes much longer before it manifest. By those who aren’t much evolved it comes very quickly. They give up very soon, get angry or have all kind of ego issues with others all the time. They want to change everything, want to impress etc etc.

This is why we do our daily practices, meditations, rituals, prayers, training the mind. Since when we become more and more aware what is going on inside we get more grip on ourselves and our inner life. This results in a better grip and control in the outer world. Only with overcoming this we can climb hight upon the mountain of initiation.


Love is the law, love under will.


Frater Parusha



On Initiation.



In the Name of the Initiator, Amen.
In the beginning was Initiation. The flesh profiteth nothing; the mind profiteth nothing; that which is unknown to you and above these, while firmly based upon their equilibrium, giveth life.
In all systems of religion is to be found a system of Initiation, which may be defined as the process by which a man comes to learn that unknown Crown.
Though none can communicate either the knowledge or the power to achieve this, which we may call the Great Work, it is yet possible for initiates to guide others.
Every man must overcome his own obstacles, expose his own illusions. Yet others may assist him to do both, and they may enable him altogether to avoid many of the false paths, leading no whither, which tempt the weary feet of the uninitiated pilgrim. They can further insure that he is duly tried and tested, for there are many who think themselves to be Masters who have not even begun to tread the Way of Service that leads thereto.
Now the Great Work is one, and the Initiation is one, and the Reward is one, however diverse are the symbols wherein the Unutterable is clothed.
Hear then the history of the system which this lection gives you the opportunity of investigating.
Listen, we pray you, with attention: for once only does the Great Order knock at any one door.
Whosoever knows any member of that Order as such, can never know another, until he too has attained to mastery.
Here, therefore, we pause, that you may thoroughly search yourself, and consider if you are yet fitted to take an irrevocable step.
For the reading of that which follows is Recorded.

From the Holy books of Thelema Liber LXI vel Causae.

What follows is a  personal view about the subject. Initiation is a word that one sees/hears often in all kind of mystical and magical communities. However it is used to describe a process that can mean different things. Traditionally the word refers to a new start, a new process, its a process of ‘going’. As far as I see it there are different types of initiations.

  • Initiation in daily life. Dealing with daily obstacles.
  • Initiation into a group/ community as a new member or as a member that is progressing within this group.
  • Initiation into a certain current/ energies (magical/ mystical/ cosmic)
  • Initiation as a inner process that brings the individual into a new level of being and consciousness. Dealing with ones ‘inner world’ so to speak.

The last one the development of ones inner process and obtaining a new way of looking at life is the main goal of initiation. The types described before that can cause this inner process to develop but isn’t necessary the case. They all should be one and acting as one. Actually very often this is not the case at all. As long as the ego is in charge and when the individuals aren’t truly initiated this will not happen. This explains the many issues in all kind of groups and orders. When transformed, initiation has taken the right effect. Transformation is a key word so to speak. The raising of the vibration levels.

The crisis that a real initiation causes is often many people don’t understand. A feeling of dispair, confusion etc are natural effects that should be overcome by the candidate. Facing oneself and understand ones shadow is what should be done and what is very difficult for many people.  This real change of ones inner condition also cause a real change in the outer condition and can cause crisis on that level as well. When the person in question is coping with it as it should be he/she will be ‘reborn’  and then initiation really occurred. In the old days an initiate is also called a ‘second born’. The same proces the alchemist is applying to the work he/she does when making alchemical substances. Tinctures for example are going through the same process and inside the alchemist this is happening as well. Alchemical substances are working as an initiator as well when it triggers something in the person one should develop or pays attention to it. Or amplifying certain parts of ones character in a good or a bad way. That is why it is important to be very cautious by taking these substances especially when a certain level of maturity is required.

In many traditions the final initiation is happening at the moment of death. Then one should be applying everything one has learned in the present incarnation in order to evolve on the Path of Return. In that sense death is a real initiator that put ones life in the right perspective like any real initiation does during ones lifetime. It put our priorities straight and learn us how we all are interconnected and part of the same. It shows us the reducibility of matters as power, envy, hate, greed, violence etc etc. These matters only drags us down into a pit that is hard to overcome when not properly cared for. Instead one should use the nobel and high part of oneself to transform death into life. Eternal life where duality as such is dissolved in order to help humanity to progress as a whole.



Inner Work & Magical Powers.


H.P.B. Blavatsky wrote the following in the Voice of Silence:

The Voice of the Silence by H. P. Blavatsky
THESE instructions are for those ignorant of the dangers of the lower IDDHI (1).

He who would hear the voice of Nada (2), “the Soundless Sound,” and comprehend it, he has to learn the nature of Dharana (3).

Having become indifferent to objects of perception, the pupil must seek out the rajah of the senses, the Thought-Producer, he who awakes illusion.

The Mind is the great Slayer of the Real.

Let the Disciple slay the Slayer.

For: —

When to himself his form appears unreal, as do on waking all the forms he sees in dreams;

When he has ceased to hear the many, he may discern the ONE — the inner sound which kills the outer.

Then only, not till then, shall he forsake the region of Asat, the false, to come unto the realm of Sat, the true.

Before the soul can see, the Harmony within must be attained, and fleshly eyes be rendered blind to all illusion.

Before the Soul can hear, the image (man) has to become as deaf to roarings as to whispers, to cries of bellowing elephants as to the silvery buzzing of the golden fire-fly.

Before the soul can comprehend and may remember, she must unto the Silent Speaker be united just as the form to which the clay is modelled, is first united with the potter’s mind.

For then the soul will hear, and will remember.

And then to the inner ear will speak —


Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

A beautiful piece of  writing and advice/teaching is in this text from the “Voice of Silence”. Many people on the occult path searching for so called magical powers (Iddhi’s). Or fancy powers to impress others or to manipulate others like in the Harry Potter movies. In our age of information pollution it seems people seeking for it more and more. Also because many people are awakening or experience their psychic powers.

The truth of this is that we all have those powers already within us. They are a ‘natural’ part of who we really are, actually we are already ‘perfect’ but we aren’t aware of it. The God in us. So in a sense they, those powers, can’t be obtained nor bought. They only can come up as a result of real spiritual progress. When the candidate is trying to put in practice noble thoughts and acts and is conscious what is going on those abilities come up. Also as a result of past lives people have accumulated those abilities already with them more or less manifest. (together with all kind of other talents) Since we all have are ‘god like’ “or god spark as Theosophists call it, we should cultivate noble actions and take responsibility for our thoughts feelings and actions. Those who seek plainly for these powers and want to  to obtain them or try to unveil so called secrets would be very disappointed.

There are many groups out there these days or so called guru’s who try to make people believe they can transfer those powers or even worse if they pay a lot of money for all kind of courses they obtain what they seek so earnestly. Or looking for the long lost secret to make the Elixir of Life or find the Philosopher’s Stone. Actually the Path as such is very dangerous in the hands of the people who are egoistically motivated since every form of egoism should be dissolved in order to be ready to control the forces of nature. In the first place we should be strife to be a better person for oneself and the world around us. Act in harmony with our True Will, To learn ‘how’ to care for oneself isn’t egoistical actually its an act of altruism because when one is an example and a embodiment of peace it’s automatically beneficial for others. This is also a gradual process since the True Will reveals itself in the process more and more. This is reflected in grades  in the A.’.A.’. system,  as land marks where we at. Every grade reveals a bit more from that True Will that is hidden in us. This is very visible in our actions or when one meet a real Adept or a Master like H.H the Dalai Lama, or H.H. Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche and others. Even when we see a picture of them this peace and Wisdom can be felt. Same is true with so called hidden Masters or Adepts if one meet one of them one will know. Only when one is completely in sync with oneself, or in balance on all levels, and thus with the environment one is ready to receive the so called secrets. The so called secrets reveals themselves without obtaining, without striving without any form of clinging. These last characteristics are manifestations of the lower mind or the lower binary (The Nephesh and Ruach) . One should be more and more under the influence of the higher faculties of our mind, the aspects of our divine nature that never dies. This is for me the point, as far as I understand it so far, one is ready to make the Philosopher’s Stone as an Alchemist and to live the life of an Adept. At the end of the day these so called Iddhi’s are not really important any more and are viewed as just a by product of ones own evolution. That can be used with the aid of the higher aspects of our mind. Under the influence of our True Will.

Love is the law, love under will.

Inner Work.


The Mountain of the Philosophers.

The inner Work is very important in order to purify our inner world and know how to communicate effectively with the intelligences that inhabit our inner world. There is a direct cause and effect between our inner and outer world also called ‘eso sphere’ and ‘exo sphere’. These intelligences were also called ‘Neters’ by the ancient Egyptians or ‘sub persona’s’ in Jungian psychology. If one is not aware of the inner world nor accepting this it is very hard to make real progress in Alchemy. Obviously there are many ways to work with our inner world. Some use prayers, others use rituals, path workings etc, they effect the inner world and when done properly it is effective but,  in my humble opinion, ‘Trance Work‘ is the most effective in my experience. Because it is a very direct method. At the end of the day we should be able to communicate and unite with higher aspects of our mind. That is the goal and the Path of initiation. Most of us are dominated by the lower aspects of our mind that induce greed, envy, lust, anger etc. And contra productive and most of the time selfish and destructive. We should transform and purify that just like we purify the elements when we do our lab work. When doing lab work this inner aspect purifies as well but on a lower level depending on the level of the work. When one does very advanced alchemical Work, the effects are very deep as well. If one calcinate plant matter it will not say that you cleaned you body and channels completely, just a tiny part of it. Therefore we need to be trained to open our inner senses, our inner 5 senses. I warn the reader not to do this on his/her own. It needs to be done with a tutor/ teacher that really knows (is an expert or so called Adept ) how this works because this method can be very dangerous or is not effective at all. One has to be aware that it can mess up ones mind with all kind of bad consequences. Working with ones mind is a very delicate matter. Like every real initiation this cause a crisis that is a natural effect but need to be dealt with in a proper way. Dealing with this type of crisis is important and a footstool to climb up on the Mountain of initiation.